Dear God...

Ok, I know that I always quote Ethan's prayers on Facebook, or that I've blogged about them before, but they never cease to amaze me.

Sunday Bed-time Prayer:

"Dear God,
I want to say I'm sorry for all the bad things I did today, because you give us all the good things in our hearts. Help me have a good day at school and stay in my seat. Thank you for all the things you give us. Amen."

Every time he prays he comes up with something new/cute/profound to say! I've never heard him say anything about "all the good things in our hearts" and I don't think that we've ever said anything like, especially in those words before. It just shows me how Ethan is constantly learning from others, and God is really working in him, giving him the words to say.

Oh, and he really did do some bad things that day. He was in trouble all afternoon. :-)


Monday Dinner-time Prayer:

"Dear God,
Um... I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I love my parents. Thank you for my mom and my dad. Thank you for Mommy making this yummy food. Bless the food. In Jesus' name, Amen."

After he finished praying, Chris asked, "So, what was the bad news?" Ethan said, "Oh, that we wasted some water."

Haha! This cracked us up! Chris had gotten all of our drinks for dinner and put them on the table. Ethan already had a cup of water that Chris didn't notice. I grabbed the cup, drank the rest of the water, and then put it in the sink before I sat down at the table. Ethan thought that I had just poured out the water that he already had and was upset about wasting it. We laughed, told him that it wasn't wasted, that I drank it, and assured him that even if I did pour his little cup of water in the sink, that it wasn't that big of a deal.

Then, I said my own little prayer and thanked God for a little boy who is actually concerned about wasting water. :-)

Monday Bed-time Prayer:

"Dear God,
Thank you for a great day! And for us helping Wade and Gina, and... um... *what's those boys' names?* Oh, Noah! and um... Noah's brother... um... thank you for helping them move to their new house. I didn't get to see Noah tonight. He was asleep in the car. And he didn't have a shirt on. Help me have a good, good day! Amen."

Hahaha! I love how he just talks to God! Telling him all about Noah asleep in the car without a shirt...

Miracle Money

Ok, so this summer has been one of the most fun and rewarding summers since we've been married. However, it has also been the most financially slim! I don't really want to just talk about money, and I'm not going to divulge every bit of our household budget, but with us having bought our house in May and me not finding a job until just a couple weeks ago, we have been SCRAPING BY to say the least.

In the past, it has never been a big deal to pay for a dinner out for some friends, or to buy ice cream for all our friends' kids, or to simply just splurge on ourselves every once and a while. However, we have had to make some HUGE adjustments to our spending practices since buying our house. We've had weeks that we literally had just enough to get by. Weeks that we somehow were able to buy food for the 3 of us on just $30.

Chris and I have always heard stories from family members, or some cheesy T.V. evangelists about "Miracle Money." It's that money that seriously just appears out of nowhere! Money that you didn't expect. It's that mystery check in the mail for the exact same amount as your electric bill that you didn't have the money to pay. Yeah.. I'm sure you've heard of it too. And like, us, you've probably been skeptical. Probably even laughed a little too.

Well, I'm here to tell you first thing that this "Miracle Money" does exist. I'm not telling you this to try to sell you anything, or to convince you of anything in particular. I'm not saying that God will send you a check in the mail if you just buy my little bottle of "Holy Water" for $19.95 or anything like that. I'm just telling you this because, for months, Chris and I have been amazed at how God has provided for our family in a multitude of ways.

Early on in the summer, after paying all of our bills, we DID NOT have the money to buy groceries for the following week. We had honestly wondered how we were going to make it. We had thought about not tithing, but quickly disregarded that thought. Well, that Sunday at church, a virtual stranger walked up to Chris and put $40 in his hand. This was a guy that knew our names, and we knew his, but that was about it. We had no connections to this man, and he had NO reason to ever just give us money. When Chris questioned him, he just told Chris to put it in his pocket. That God had told him on the way to church to give it to us. He said that he could tell just by looking at us that we were good servants. I think that's the best compliment I've ever gotten! That $40 was able to buy enough groceries for our family for the week. It may not have seemed like much to anyone else, but to us, it was a huge blessing.

You see, if we had chosen not to tithe, we would have told God that we did not trust Him to provide for us. We would have told God that we didn't need Him that week. But by tithing that week, we let God know that He was still Number 1 in our lives. We let God know that we trusted Him and we loved Him and we knew that He would take care of us. And that is exactly what He did.

Another bizarre story: Chris and I are very proud of the fact that we have only taken out one credit card in the whole time we've been together. And, we paid it off 2 months after getting it. So, here sits this credit account, with a zero balance, and we haven't heard anything from the company in months. Out of the blue we receive a letter in the mail stating that our next statement is available for our review and it mentions something about a due date. Well, of course we kind of panic and assume that this company has charged us some sort of fee for just having an account open, or for not using the card in so long, or something like that. And again, we DO NOT have any extra money this month to pay this ridiculous fee, or whatever it is. In fact, we are in need of more money to make things work this month.

Turns out, we had some sort of a warranty on our credit account and since it was already paid off, they are refunding the amount back to us! First time either one of us had heard of it before. A couple days later we get a check in the mail for twenty-something bucks. Totally strange.

Anyway, there have been several other instances of this sort of thing happen to us lately. We've needed money for gas and I get a photoshoot booked. We needed an extra $130 to make our house payment for the month and we get that in the mail. We needed groceries and some back to school stuff for Ethan and I get a call to babysit some kids for a few days. It's just like BAM! God is there to take care of us! And I guess this is where my pitch comes in... it's because we have been doing what God has called us to do. When we are living like He wants us to, we will be taken care of. Simple as that.

One last story on the flipside: A few weeks ago I was nervous about writing our tithe check on Sunday morning. I knew that, once again, this week we would be cutting it really close. I was supposed to get paid for some babysitting that I did the following day. I tell Chris, "Let's wait until they pay me and we'll just tithe in cash." Reluctantly, Chris agrees to it. What happens? It takes the guy 2 more weeks to pay me. Every time he called it was something else. Some other excuse as to why he didn't have my money. I believe that this happened because I did not want to trust God to provide for us that week. I wanted to take control and I paid the consequences for it. If I had only tithed on Sunday like I was supposed to, I probably would have gotten paid on Monday.

Not preachin' to ya or anything... just sayin'.

I kind of like taking pictures...

Ok, so I reeeaaallly like taking pictures.

And I reeeeaaaalllly need to take more pictures...

Breathe in... breathe out...

For the last 3 months or so I just keep thinking about Scott's thoughts on busyness... it's not always a good thing and it can distract you from your family, from yourself, or from God. Chris and I have to remind each other of this often. We have to make time to sit in the floor and read with Ethan. We have to plan to spend time with each other. It's ridiculous! And it seems like this is how our lives have been for the last 4 years. When we were dating and in school, and having to split up our time between the two families, and planning a wedding, all we ever said was "Hopefully after we get married things will slow down a bit."

Well, we got married, and we had jobs, and we had to pay bills, and we still had to split up our time between our families, and we were still in school and all we ever said was "Hopefully this summer things will slow down." Summer came and went and even then we said "Hopefully when school starts back and we have a routine again, things will slow down."

Needless to say, NOTHING HAS EVER SLOWED DOWN! And if you can't already tell, it's really starting to wear on me!

And so starts another *busy* season in our lives. Here's why:
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I got a job. I will be working for the Social Security Administration. In the same office as my dear hubby :-) We have always worked together in the past, at ODAR, running the copy business our first year of marriage, and then at CEL. People think we're crazy. But we love spending that much time together. Even though we didn't have the same classes, we had them at the same time so we would drive then walk to class together in college, drive to work together, clean together, and Chris even goes shopping with me. I am so excited to work together again!

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Ethan started kindergarten today! Wow! Since I don't start my new job until September 20th, I can take him to school, pick him up from school, and anything else in between for now. However, he is an over-flow kid at his school. They have too many kids in kindergarten over the legal limit for each classroom. This means that they may be able to hire another kindergarten teacher or he will have to be moved to another school in the district.

I really hope that he can stay at Ida Burns! Ya' see, we have these AMAZING friends that live just a couple blocks away and Christy would be able to pick Ethan up when she picks Jaylee up after school once I start my job and I wouldn't have to worry about him getting on a bus alone, or being at an after-school daycare or something. That would be a huge blessing!

Either way though, I know that God will work it all our for us like He does everything!

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Chris and I are now both in leadership at our church. Chris is currently in training for Empower Groups and is totally stoked about how God is going to be able to use him at ThatChurch! And I am on the Worship Team. Well, I have been since May, but it hasn't been a big deal over the summer since neither Ethan or me have any obligations during the week. However, since school has started, and I will soon start my job, and Chris is in training and I have rehearsal every Thursday night, it's just another busy day for our calendars!

And of course, God has us taken care of in this aspect too. Christy and Sarah are pretty much available on Thursdays so that Ethan can spend time with them while Chris and I are at church. They even feed him too! :-)

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The CALL.

For those of you who don't know, Chris and I are the coordinators for the Faulkner & Conway County Foster/Adoptive Family Support Group as well as the coordinators for the CALL Mall of Faulkner & Conway Counties.

I don't think there's enough time left in this post for an explanation of all that.

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I want to clarify though, I'm not complaining about any of the above named events or circumstances. All of these things that keep us busy are great blessings to us, our family, and hopefully many other families as well. We just have to constantly remind ourselves to breathe in... and breathe out...

I'm your's baby, and you are mine...

*Before reading, open this and listen to You Are Mine.

Ok, so if you read my last post, you already know that my little sister got married last weekend. Let's just say that I have been a crazy emotional wreck over this. First of all, she's my baby sister, and she can't possibly be old enough to get married, right? Secondly, I've been flooded with so many memories of my own wedding, and the various stages of mine and Chris' marriage.

One of the biggest things that always annoys me about weddings are the people that have to make comments all the time about your "last night of freedom" or "ready for the ol' ball and chain?" Those people often sound like jerks because they say things like this in an attempt to be funny, and not to mention, it's incredibly discouraging!

My step-dad is one of these people. Three years ago he gave Chris 'advice' such as "Run!" and told him that he needed to get a number 8 skillet so he could "keep me in line." *Just a note: the skillet comment was just a joke. My step-dad is not a violent person, and has never taken a skillet to my mom, or anyone else for that matter.*

Friday night at my sister's rehearsal, when the preacher asked if anyone had any questions about the ceremony, he asked him "When can I tell Homer to run?" Of course, no one else laughed. If you really want to piss off a bride the night before her wedding, say something like this.

Now, it's not just him that said things like this. It seems like just about everyday leading up to your wedding, someone, sometimes even a stranger will say something of this nature. For most couples, this is not their view of their upcoming marriage at all. They do not think of themselves as being forced into something. They don't think of their wedding bands as shackles. And they certainly don't want to get an image like that in their heads before they even get a chance to experience marriage for themselves.

I love my husband, and I love being married to him. Never once have I felt like I have a chain around one of my ankles, and the other around his. Never once have I felt trapped in my marriage. I love being able to share my daily adventures (and misadventures) with Chris at the end of the day. I love having someone to share responsibility with. I love being able to share my concerns with him, or being able to ask his advice before making decisions. I don't do it because I have to, I do it because I want to. And because it's good for us.

This picture was taken in my Sunfire sitting in the Cabot WalMart parking lot. I worked there the summer we started dating and usually got off at 11PM. Chris would meet me at work and we would pretty much just sit and talk for a couple hours everynight since it took 40 minutes to get from his house to mine and WalMart was right in the middle.

This was September of 2006. We had been dating a few months and decided to play in the rain outside my apartment.


Don't we look awesome?!? This was at my 19th birthday party! Wow... that's hard to believe.



Woohoo! Our wedding day, May 19, 2007. We were cutting the grooms cake. This is my favorite picture from the whole day!



Our honeymoon. I think that this picture was taken on the top deck of our cruise ship in port in Honduras.

Awesome right? May 19, 2008-Our first anniversary. We went back to the same hotel where we spent our wedding night. It's a piece of work... but hey, it's nostalgic!

(I can't find a picture of our 2nd anniversary celebration.)



May 19, 2010- Our third anniversary. We had big plans to go out and eat somewhere fancy-schmancy, but with so many other things going on around the same time (more on that later) we made a drive out to our favorite little diner, the Blue Diamond Cafe & Ice Cream Parlor in Morrilton. We filled up our bellies with cheese fries, burgers, and ice cream and then walked around Petit Jean State Park.

It's so hard for me to wrap my mind around all the things that we have been through since we got married. Things like both of us losing our grandmothers (within 2 months of each other), moving 3 times, totaling cars, buying new ones, losing old friends and making new ones, both of us graduating college (WOOHOO!),

buying a house,

adopting Ethan,




and just being the happiest little family we can be.

Don't get me wrong: we are not without fault. We have disagreements, we get discouraged, we have to reallllly stretch our money sometimes... but when I think about all the things that we have accomplished, all the wonderfully happy moments, all the successes throughout these last 3 years, I want to smack the people who told us to "Run!" or to "enjoy our last night of freedom."

I've never felt more freedom than coming home to a family that I love and truly enjoying myself.

Can I sit down now??? My feet are hurting.

My oh my! I can't believe I haven't updated in so long! We have been so super busy lately! This summer is absolutely flying by! It's crazy. We've been having a lot of fun though.



Ethan got a super cute new haircut. I know that this may not be anything special to some of you, but to a proud momma, there's nothing better! I love being able to style it a couple of different ways... and he's always ready to pose for pictures and show it off.



We've made a couple trips out to my dad's house too. Ethan loves to swim and play with the puppies!


Our friends Steven and Jessica welcomed a new baby girl! Cara Rae Woods was born on June 30th!

Proud Daddy!





She is absolutely beautiful and we are so happy for you guys!


Ethan sitting on the fountain outside the hospital!

Also in the last month, God has continued to bless us at ThatChurch! We had the opportunity to truly change lives... I'm not going to post it all, but please read more about it here and here and check out my pictures from the event here.

I have to say though, the biggest thing lately has been my sister's wedding. It has been a whole lot of work... and a whole lot of fun.

Megan and Homer have been together longer than Chris and me. Homer is my age, and I have to admit... when she, at 15, brought home a guy my age, I was a little hesitant... but, 5 years later, he's proven to be a great addition to our family.



This is Megan and Homer at mine and Chris' wedding 3 three years ago. She, of course, was my maid of honor, and Homer was an usher.

And here they are at my college graduation just a couple months ago. Cute, aren't they???


We've been busy with wedding showers, decorations, dresses, food, etc... but it was a wonderful celebration of love and happiness!










I am so proud of them!

I know that I went a little skimpy on the details of our life the last few weeks, but I promise, I will try to keep updating more frequently.

And God, there's just one more thing...

Ya know, I really think that I've learned more about life and about how to serve God in the short time that I've been a parent than the rest of my life combined.

It's just something about that responsibility; that little life following you around asking "Mommy, why did that woman just say that? Mommy, why do they not have much money? Mommy, why is that man in a wheelchair? Mommy, when we get to heaven, can we sing songs to God?"

Ethan asks a multitude of questions each day. Most of them only require simple answers, and then occasionally he decides to throw me for a loop. Stump me. I never would have guessed how much God would use my child's innocence to teach me, the parent. Things that I typically overlook, or take for granted, Ethan notices. He notices when a stranger in line at Wal*Mart says something "mean", or when others make comments about not being able to afford something, or when a man loses the use of his own legs. I have to explain these things to him daily.

But you see, this is not God testing Ethan. This is God testing me. This is God's way of asking me "Crystal, how will you show love and compassion for these people in a way that will teach Ethan how to love? How will you express your gratitude for the blessings that I have given you so that Ethan will recognize and be thankful as well? How will you teach your son to follow Me?"

I won't bore you with all my thoughts.... just that it's hard to do. But it's an amazingly rewarding task.

Oh, and then Ethan prays... and I'm sure if any of you have noticed several of mine and Chris' Facebook statuses, you've chuckled a time or two.

Yes, they're cute. Yes, they're often hilarious. But most importantly, they are heart felt. And they are about what is important to him. Tonight's prayer for example:

"Dear God,
Thank you soooo much. Please keep Mommy safe, and Daddy safe, and Seth and Jackie and Jeremy and Seth's Mimi safe. Keep everyone in da world safe. God, please help Hayes and all my friends to have a good day. And God, there's just one more thing I want to ask you: please, I don't want anymore broken arms. I love you so much.
Amen."

Just about every night I have to bite my lip to either keep from laughing, crying, or both.

When Ethan first came to live with us, the only prayer he knew was his goodnight "Now I lay me down to sleep..." prayer. And sometimes he would start praying that prayer at meals, or other times of the day. He didn't understand what prayer was. He didn't understand what it truly meant to talk to God. He only repeated what he had heard at bedtime. Now, I'm not saying that is bad, especially for a young child, but Chris and I knew that it was time for Ethan to start understanding what prayer was. And he was fully capable.

We started telling Ethan more about prayer, and how it wasn't just like a poem or a song, but it was a conversation with God. We started praying more often together as a family. We encouraged him to say a little prayer to God whenever he got frustrated, or when he was in trouble. We explained to him what it meant to ask for forgiveness.

I am so proud now to listen to him, laying in his bed, talking to God about things that really matter to him; like his best friends and broken arms.






"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 18:4

Our Story

A few days ago a friend from way back when sent me a message on Facebook asking about Ethan. She wanted to know his story, how we came to know him, why we couldn't post pictures of him, etc... I didn't reply for a couple days, and I was curious as to what exactly I would tell her. Well, once I sat down to reply to her message, the words just kept flowing. It ended up being a rather long story. Chris asked to read what I sent her, and after he did he said "I think you should put this on the blog." So, here it is for those of you who are curious:

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Hey, well, God just brought Ethan into our lives like a hurricane. It was unexpected and unstoppable. Chris and I were both working at the Center of Early Learning/Pediatrics Plus, a developmental preschool and therapy center and Ethan started there in March of 2009. We had heard that he was such a bad kid, and lots of other total lies about him. We instantly fell in love with him though. We also found out after a few weeks, that he was in foster care. I started doing my research on foster/adoption and began snooping around anywhere I could for information on him. I had heard that his birth mother's parental rights were more than likely going to be terminated because he had already been in foster care for a year at this point and that his foster mother had no intentions of adopting him. Well, panic set in for both of us... we began thinking about what might happen to him, and whether or not we would ever see him again after the termination. We had completed most of our initial paperwork for DHS by now (April 2009) and were in contact with The CALL (http://www.thecallinarkansas.org/) in attempts to try to get us through the system quicker. (We are now a huge part of the CALL and if you want more information on it specifically, I'll be glad to share some other time.) For most, it takes around 10-12 months to be an open foster home and we knew that we didn't have that much time.

Just let me add here, this was one of the most "inconvenient" times in our lives yet for God to throw in a kid. Chris was just about to graduate, we were unsure as to whether or not we would still be able to live in our apartment, we were both working only about 15 hours a week for minimum wage, Chris was trying to find a job, and I still have one year of school and internship left. We often thought "How are we going to do this? We are not prepared for this!" But the way that God allowed everything to play out, we knew that He had it all under control. He knew that we would be ok.

I had somehow found contact numbers for everyone involved in his case; caseworkers, DHS transportation workers, therapists, his birth mother's attorney, the DHS attorney, CASA, etc... but no one could give me any information on him because to them, we were just total strangers that happen to work at his school. His caseworker had actually been forbidden by her supervisor to call us back (we found that out months later). We finally started to build a relationship with the one person that we had access to; his foster mom.

By July all of our background checks had cleared with DHS and we had had an initial home visit and were now eligible to be official, DHS-approved babysitters. We then arranged it with his foster mom to start getting Ethan on the weekends and such. He would come home with us on Fridays, and we would take him to school on Mondays. He felt like such a part of our family already, and I cried, and I missed him those 4 days of the week that he wasn't with us.

We completed our PRIDE Training and loads of other paperwork in August and then just had to sit and wait for 3 more months even though his mother's rights were already terminated. We had a lot of opposition from DHS. Many people did not like us, and felt like it was "unfair" for us "pick out" a kid that we liked and pursue him. DHS believes in finding a family for a child, not a child for a family. They tried to deny us becoming a foster family because of our age, our income, etc etc... anything they could so that we could not "have it our way" pretty much. Our caseworker though was steadfast- she was on our team and was determined to do everything she could to make sure Ethan became a part of our family. I know that our case was a huge push for her, she quit two weeks after Ethan was placed with us because she said that she was so disgusted with many of her co-workers and the system itself. At times it seems that the bureaucracy of it all overshadows what is actually most beneficial for the child. Even though we were a perfect home for Ethan, and had long been establishing that bond with him, we didn't go about it the way that we were supposed to, and it made a lot of people angry.

Anyway, Ethan moved in with us in October only because his foster mom was moving and was not taking him with her... it was still unofficial. Our caseworker even covered it up in paperwork. In the system, he was living with a foster mother in Vilonia, but he only spent one night with her. She could have lost her job over it, but she did it so that he could be with us. She referred to our case often as a "God-thing" because not matter what kind of crap was thrown at us, we eventually overcame it all.

We finally became an open home in November and Ethan was officially placed with us then. Since then, things have been much easier. Once he was with us, we just had to go to court, state our intent to adopt, and wait six months for the adoption.

All of those lies we had heard about earlier have seemed to resolve themselves... it's amazing what a structured home, loving parents, and finally, Ethan's confidence in where he belongs, can do for his behavior.

And we couldn't post any pictures of him because as a foster child, he is in the custody of the state of Arkansas, and the state does not give permission for any photo, video, etc... of any foster child to be shared online, in print, etc...

No, we had no intentions of starting a family this soon. No, we have not tried to have our own biological children yet. Yes, we do know how old we are. No, I'm not crazy. These are things that people have been asking us for a year now and it's really irritating. The assumption from most is that you only adopt when you've expanded all of your resources and have been unsuccessful at having birth children. Oh, and you have to be at least like, 35 or something to adopt. Haha... People freak out when they hear(d) that Ethan was our foster kid (even though we NEVER referred to him as such) and would talk about him like he wasn't even in the room. They ask stupid questions and say stupid things. The only things we were asked was "Why was he taken into care? What did his mom do? What was wrong with her? What's wrong with him?" Are you kidding me??? They're not even concerned with Ethan, or what he needs, just the gossip.

People always refer to belief in God, and His miracles during pregnancy and childbirth... and I understand that, but now I believe that you cannot possibly deny God or His plans when you see how perfect Ethan is for Chris and me. God had plans for us and plans for Ethan before we had ever met him. No state agency or judge can claim to be responsible for this.

I know that you probably had no idea you would receive a novella from me, but I love telling this story. I want people to think differently about foster care, and adoption, and I want people to understand what it's all about without being afraid.

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So yes, there is still a lot of information missing, but I honestly think I could write a book on the process. If that doesn't satisfy your curiosity, then just ask, and I'll tell.

Next Verse

Even though I have been wanting to start this blog for a long time now, I think it's only appropriate that it gets going now- at this new stage of our lives.

Our adoption was final yesterday- although from the moment we first met Ethan it felt like he had been with us his whole life, like I had carried him in me, raised him from birth- we are now officially his parents.

Perfect fit, huh?

We had a big "Adoption Celebration" last night at our new home. I was so surprised at how many friends -old and new- came out to celebrate with us, how many people were rejoicing with us, how many people love us, and love Ethan. It is truly refreshing and I feel so blessed.

As nice as it was to get to spend a little time with new friends, my best friends were there the whole time. They brought gifts, gave hugs, talked, laughed, and stayed late to help clean up. Long after everyone else had left, they self assigned duties to get my house back in order - clean up yard and deck, sweep and mop floors, put away leftovers, take out the trash, drain the hot tub and look for the broken glass (broken thermometer), and most importantly, after it was all done, they just sat down with us, and loved us like they always have.

I hope I can continue to keep up this blog. There are so many exciting (well, to me at least) things happening in our lives right now that I want to share with everyone: news and updates for everyone, a place to share all of the funny things Ethan says, and just an outlet for me to tell our story.